“Be careful when you open that pop,” I warned Dear Husband. “They kids were in the pantry shaking it up today.”
“You know that comedian you don’t approve of, who calls his kid a that name?”
“I just don’t think you should call your kids that.”
“You have to admit he has a point. People who take your favourite drink, shake it for no reason so it loses all it’s fizz and sprays all over you when you open it, and then puts it right back so you don’t know, well, let’s be honest. That person is an ass
In response, I just looked at him and pursed my lips, which means, Yeah, maybe you’re right, but push it and you’ll find yourself in all kinds of wrong. But he does have a point. If your children keep acting like children once they reach adulthood, they would correctly called all sorts of nasty names.
Like this kid: She comes home and tells me that she won’t use the school bathroom stalls, because she is sure that the lock will fail and she will never get out. This, of course, is crazy. I try to role play asking for new pants from the Lost and Found, when she runs upstairs to use the — you guessed it — bathroom, knocking the humungous package of toilet paper off the stairs from which it was to be carried to the — guess again — upstairs bathroom, leaving it in the middle of the room. She comes back 5 minutes later, interrupting me to shout, “WHERE’S THE TOILET PAPER?” I pointed to the floor, and I went back to making supper. Imagine my surprise when I found that package lying right where it fell, with just one roll clawed out of the package. If you do that when you’re 35, there’s a name for you.
Oh, and remember sweet, little Princess? After playing with her for nearly an hour, I tried to sit down and listen to an interesting audio clip posted on the Dumb Old Housewives blog. She walks over, squeezes onto my lap, and asks all these questions about the stock photos that are playing, so I can’t hear. Finally, “How looong is this? It’s sooooo boring.” Meaning: You are welcome to entertain yourself, as long as it also entertains me. Again, if you’re pulling this stunt anytime after the 3rd decade of your life, it’s not going win you a nice nickname.
But, they aren’t bad kids, just kids. This is childish behaviour. Immature. Juvenile. They aren’t doing this because they have decided the world should revolve around them. It’s just that no one has taught them any better. The teaching being my job, the job of a parent.
I would like to say I always treat my kids with respect because I am such a morally developed person. But really, if I call them a jerk, they’d probably just look me in the eye and ask, “Oh? It must be how I was raised.” I have enough trouble with these kids without being shown up by the under 11 set.