Raising the Next Generation of Barbarian
Big Boy was at the park when a gaggle of older girls came upon him.
“Hello cute little boy. Do you want to be our friend?”
Big Boy was scared very of these big, bossy Kindergarteners, but he didn’t run back to his Mother’s skirts. Instead, he scrunched up his face, hunched his shoulders and balled his fists.
“I’m a tough guy,” he said. “I don’t want friends. I’m going to go fight my sister.”
He waited until they had walked away, and then directly hid behind his older sister, shielding himself with the thick denim of her pant leg, squinting his eyes at any further threats from those intimidating females.
Some blogging Moms get to brag that they are raising a new generation of leaders, or artists, or healthy eaters. I get to state that I’ve got the next generation of barbarians.
Spring has brought delightfully warm weather, and the kids begged me to let them lower the windows of our black Expedition as we tooled around the neighborhood. Soon, three kids were cutting the wind with their snouts, their hair pushed back and eyes barely open. It was then that I heard shouting.
“HEY! HEY, there people.” Art Girl hollered in her best stadium voice. “How you all doin’? YEEAAAHHH!!” she called out to her audience on the sidewalks and parking lots. The show continued as we pulled up to the curb on our busy street, just as a bus was pulling away. Art Girl leapt out of the truck onto the boulevard, assumed the Power Stance, and pointed.
“Hey there! Mr. Bus Driver! How’s your day on the bus? Go drive that bus! Oh YEEAAAHHH!!!”
Well, at least she’s keeping her inner Mongolian Horde somewhat under wraps. Unlike Big Boy. In addition to scaring off 5 year old girls, he has created a new game called Dr. Scary Face, who uses his incredibly angry face to, well, scare off bad guys. But if that doesn’t work, he’ll bring out the big guns. Or big cucumbers — on Friday at Walmart he grabbed a $1 English Cuke and used it to “BANG BANG BANG!!!!” every passing shopper and toilet paper display. Luckily us Prairie folk tend to have a sense of humour. (I’m not sure about the toilet paper. Its silence may have indicated extreme offence.) I doubt they would have been as understanding of our bath night superhero: Super Naked Boy. Or maybe they would have been fine. Our Church’s Sacramental Assistant thought it was funny that she had to cajole Big Boy into putting his shirt back on during Children’s Liturgy. Since become a parent I have developed the ability to smile while slowly dying inside.
With all of this mucho-macho action, I wasn’t surprised to hear Big Boy tell Princess that in their game he was going to be Iron Man.
“Iron Man?” I asked. “Are you going to fight some Bad Guys?”
“No. Today, I am going to have a tea party. With Spider Man. Then I’ll fight the Bad Guys.”
Maybe things are totally wild. Yet.